Two Finder processes are open. Neither works. What gives?

I can't get Finder to do a darn thing. Specifically, it won't open new windows, show files on the desktop, or be the app in focus when I click its dock icon or the desktop.

Weird! Fine, I'll relaunch Finder. That usually clears it up.

Er:

I can hit 'relaunch' on both of those Finder items, and it changes nothing. Neither did restarting the computer.

Apps can still manipulate files, and Alfred can open them - but not find them.

There are zero Finder processes open according to Activity Monitor:

What are my next troubleshooting steps?